annie sisk : where annie writes

blame

The Reckoning: The Father of the Sandy Hook Killer Searches for Answers (The New Yorker)

This is where I differ from most, I guess: I don’t blame Adam Lanza’s mom one bit.

Knowing how dealing with someone like this – caring for them day in and day out for years – not only wears you down but actually changes your brain chemistry, changes your very thought patterns – I can’t muster any condemnation or blame for either of Lanza’s parents, but between the two of them, certainly less for him than for her.

If someone’s telling you “I got this” and you don’t see any definitive, unambiguous signs to the contrary – and from this and other pieces, I don’t think there were any such signs – then I just don’t see how anyone could expect anything else.

It’s just a tragic story and I’m not really interested any more in “who’s to blame” – we all are, as a society, for not taking better care of our mentally ill and their caretakers.



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